• David de Souza

'How to Speak How to Listen' 80/20 Summary

Updated: Oct 6



How to Speak How to Listen



  • Score: 2/10

  • Category: Negotiation

  • Mental Models: Listening, Trust, Vividness




The Mental Models From the Book



1. Language Instinct

Out of the 4 elements of communicating, listening is learned first and used most (46% of the time) but yet it is never taught in school.


The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is see it as a passive activity.

Keep questions in mind while listening to stay focused, such as: What is the significance of the conclusion to me?


2. Trust Not until you are trusted will be persuasive. You can gain trust by:

  • Telling stories (that invoke laughter)

  • Being modest about your credentials.

  • Associating with others who the person trusts.


3. Vividness

The more abstract you are in your speech the more difficult it becomes for your audience to relate to you and the more academic you seem.

To overcome your lack of vividness in your speech, you should be more physical in the way you present:

  • Increase the energy and modulation in your voice

  • Over-emphasize body movement.

  • Increase the use of gestures.

  • Use your fingers to draw attention to a number of points.

  • Sketch a diagram in the air if you don't have a whiteboard.



Let me know how these summaries can be improved? Contact me via Email (david@thisdomain.co) or on Twitter.



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